As Dodgers owner Mark Walter takes majority control of the Lakers, fans joke about baseball-style spending sprees in basketball. This article crunches the numbers on why signing every top-5 MVP candidate (Giannis, Jokić, Dončić, SGA, Edwards) with deferred contracts like Shohei Ohtani's would be statistically fascinating—and financially absurd. A data-driven take on sports capitalism gone wild.