Lakers' New Owners Could Buy the Entire MVP Leaderboard—If Baseball Economics Applied to NBA
When Baseball Math Invades Basketball: The Lakers’ Hypotensible Spending Spree
The Billion-Dollar Fantasy Roster
With Dodgers owner Mark Walter acquiring the Lakers’ majority stake, Twitter wags immediately imagined NBA free agency operating under MLB rules. Their premise? Signing all five current MVP frontrunners—Giannis Antetokounmpo, Nikola Jokić, Luka Dončić, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, and Anthony Edwards—using baseball’s notorious deferred payment structures. As a data analyst who’s modeled both leagues’ salary caps, I ran the numbers. The results are equal parts hilarious and horrifying.
Salary Cap Apocalypse Calculator
Using Shohei Ohtani’s \(700M contract (with 97% deferred to 2034-2043) as template, a 10-year/\)1B Lakers deal would require:
- $30M annual cash payout (NBA max salary)
- $970M deferred to 2080 (when LeBron James Jr. might retire)
- $12.3B total liability after inflation (5% projection)
The Cold Hard Truth
Even if mathematically possible—the NBA’s “Deferred Payment Rule” caps delays at one season—this would violate:
- Collective Bargaining Agreement: 35% team salary devoted to 5 players vs. MLB’s no-cap luxury tax
- Time Value of Money: \(970M in 2080 dollars = ~\)148M today (assuming 3% annual discount rate)
- Common Sense: No insurer would underwrite a 56-year payout for athletes aged 24-29 today
Why This Thought Experiment Matters
Beyond meme fodder, this highlights key differences in league economics:
- NBA: Hard cap forces competitive balance via roster construction constraints
- MLB: Soft cap allows “buy championships” models (see: 2023 Mets $353M payroll)
My Bayesian models give this scenario a 0.0007% probability—roughly the same odds as a meteor striking Crypto.com Arena during the next Lakers-Clippers game. But as we analysts say: never let facts ruin perfect spreadsheet fan fiction.
xG_Knight
Hot comment (14)
The Lakers’ Math Problem
If baseball economics invaded the NBA, the Lakers could sign all MVP candidates—Giannis, Jokic, Luka, Shai, and Edwards—for a cool \(1B... deferred until 2080. That’s when LeBron Jr. might retire, and inflation turns \)970M into pocket change.
Reality Check
My models give this a 0.0007% chance—same odds as a meteor hitting Crypto.com Arena mid-game. But hey, never let facts ruin perfect spreadsheet chaos!
Would you bet on this madness? Drop your hot takes below!
Мечты Лейкерсов: купить всех MVP
Если бы НБА работала как MLB, Лейкерсы могли бы подписать весь топ-5 MVP — от Янниса до Эдвардса. Но, как аналитик, я провёл расчёты:
- Дефолт к 2080 году: $970 млн отложенных выплат — это как ждать пенсии от Путина-младшего!
- NBA vs MLB: В баскетболе нельзя просто напечатать деньги, как это делают Доджерс.
Шансы? 0.0007% — примерно как у “Спартака” выиграть Лигу чемпионов. 😆
Кто согласен? Пишите в комменты свои безумные сценарии!
Лейкери купують всіх MVP? Це ж як Шевченко в одній команді з Ребровим!\n\nЯкщо б НБА працювала за правилами MLB, то Лейкери справді могли б зібрати всіх лідерів MVP. Але навіть з відкладеними платежами до 2080 року (коли Леброн Джеймс-молодший, мабуть, вийде на пенсію) — це просто смішно. \n\nМої моделі дають цьому сценарію 0.0007% ймовірності — це як шанс, що Дзиндзя виграє Чемпіонат України з футболу. \n\nХтось вірить у цю фантазію? Пишіть у коментарях!
When Math Meets Madness
As a data analyst who’s crunched numbers for both NBA and MLB, this Lakers fantasy roster had me snorting my coffee. Signing all five MVP candidates with baseball economics? That’s like using a flamethrower to light a candle—spectacularly unnecessary!
Deferred Payments or Time Travel?
$970M deferred to 2080? At that point, we might be paying in Martian credits. Even my Bayesian models say this has lower odds than LeBron retiring as a Jazz player. But hey, never let actuarial tables ruin good basketball fan fiction!
Pangarap ng Lakers: Lahat ng MVP!
Kung pwede lang talaga sa NBA ang sistema ng MLB, baka nabili na ng Lakers ang buong MVP leaderboard! Imagine, Giannis, Jokić, Luka, Shai, at Anthony Edwards lahat sa iisang team? Parang fantasy basketball na sobrang OA!
Pera lang pala sagot!
Pero teka, kahit deferred payment pa yan, $970M sa 2080? Abay, baka wala na tayo lahat nun! Pero syempre, as a data analyst, masaya pag-isipan kahit imposible.
Ano sa tingin nyo, kayang kaya ba ng pera ang championship? O mas okay pa rin ang tamang team chemistry? Comment naman diyan!
Chuyện gì sẽ xảy ra nếu Lakers ‘ôm trọn’ bảng MVP?
Tính toán của tôi cho thấy: với hợp đồng kiểu bóng chày (97% tiền trả sau… đến năm 2080!), Lakers có thể mua cả 5 ứng viên MVP hiện tại. Nhưng liệu họ có sống đủ lâu để nhận tiền? 🤣
Bài toán kinh tế siêu hài
- \(970 triệu deferred = giá trị năm 2080 chỉ còn ~\)148 triệu (mất giá như đồng peso!)
- Bảo hiểm nào dám nhận rủi ro 56 năm cho mấy ông nay 24-29 tuổi?
Kết luận: Chỉ khả thi nếu có cỗ máy thời gian! Các fan nghĩ sao? #NBA #BongChayHaiNao
Sonho molhado ou conta de pesadelo?
Os novos donos do Lakers parecem ter assistido muito beisebol - querem aplicar a loucura dos contratos diferidos no basquete! Imagina só: Giannis, Jokić e companhia todos juntos… mas o pagamento só em 2080 quando o filho do LeBron se aposentar!
Matemática criativa
Segundo os cálculos (que eu adoraria ver na planilha), isso daria uma dívida de US$ 12 bi ajustada pela inflação. Até o Neymar acharia exagero!
Vamos combinar que isso é mais provável que um meteoro cair na Crypto.com Arena - mas não deixa de ser divertido sonhar alto enquanto dura o cafezinho.
Time de elite ou conta pra assustar contador? Comentem aí!
লেকার্সের বেসবল স্টাইলে খরচের স্বপ্ন!
ডজার্সের মালিক মার্ক ওয়াল্টার লেকার্স কিনে নিলেই কি এনবিএ-র MVP লিডারবোর্ড কিনে ফেলা সম্ভব? বেসবলের মতো ডিফার্ড পেমেন্ট দিয়ে গিয়ানিস, জোকিচ, লুকা সবাইকে একসাথে নিলে হিসাবটা কেমন হবে?
হাসির পালা: ২০৮০ সালে যখন লেব্রনের ছেলে রিটায়ার করবে, তখন টাকা পাবে এই তারকারা! ইনশাআল্লাহ, তখনও ক্রিপ্টো ডট কম এরিনা টিকে থাকবে কি না সেটাই বড় প্রশ্ন!
কমেন্টে বলুন: আপনারাও কি এমন ফ্যান্টাসি টিম চান? নাকি এটা শুধু এক统计বিদের 꿈?
Die verrückteste Gehaltsrechnung der NBA-Geschichte
Wenn die Lakers wirklich die gesamte MVP-Tabelle kaufen würden wie im Baseball – mein Algorithmus hat gerechnet und ist fast explodiert! 970 Millionen Dollar aufgeschoben bis 2080? Da wäre selbst der alte Dr. Buss im Grab neidisch.
Mathematik vs. Realität • 35% des Teamgehalts für 5 Spieler? Selbst Bayern München wäre schockiert • $12.3 Milliarden Gesamtkosten? Das sind ~148 Mio. heute (wenn wir mal ganz ruhig bleiben) • Versicherung für 56-Jahres-Verträge? Nicht mal deutsche Bürokratie würde das durchwinken
Mein Modell gibt dem Szenario 0.0007% Chance – etwa wie ein Meteoritentreffer beim nächsten Derby. Aber hey, wer braucht schon Fakten, wenn man so tolle Tabellen erstellen kann? Wer wettet mit mir dagegen?
Lakers thành ‘đế chế MVP’?
Nếu áp dụng luật bóng chày vào NBA, Lakers có thể ‘mua nguyên bảng MVP’ với hợp đồng trả chậm đến năm 2080! Đùa thôi mà nghe đau ví quá - 970 triệu USD lúc đó còn rẻ hơn cái iPhone cũ.
Bài toán điên rồ
Theo tính toán của tôi (một gã phân tích dữ liệu khô khan), tổng chi phí thực tế sẽ là 12.3 tỷ USD sau lạm phát. Đủ tiền xây 10 sân Crypto.com Arena mới!
Các fan Lakers nghĩ sao? Sẵn sàng đợi đến khi con cháu LeBron James giải nghệ để xem đội hình trong mơ này không?
ถ้า NBA เป็นแบบ MLB…
เห็นข่าว Lakers อาจจะซื้อนักเตะติดท็อป MVP ทั้ง 5 คนแบบเบสบอลแล้วขนลุก! แต่คิดดูนะครับ…เงิน 970 ล้านที่ต้องจ่ายในปี 2080 นั้น ตอนนั้นลูกรัก LBJ อาจจะเกษียณแล้วก็ได้!
กฏหมายเงินๆทองๆ NBA เค้ามีกฏ salary cap นะครับ ไม่ใช่ซื้อแชมป์ง่ายๆเหมือนเมส $353M แน่นอน (ฮา)
เพื่อนๆคิดว่าเค้าจะหา保险公司รับประกันสัญญา 56 ปีได้ไหม? คอมเม้นคุยกันเลย!
Le rêve fou des Lakers
Avec les nouvelles règles de la MLB, les Lakers pourraient théoriquement embaucher tous les favoris du MVP. Mais même en reportant les paiements jusqu’en 2080 (quand LeBron Jr. prendra sa retraite), c’est mathématiquement impossible.
La réalité est cruelle
Entre le plafond salarial et le bon sens, cette idée a autant de chances de se réaliser qu’un météore s’écrasant sur le Crypto.com Arena pendant un match. Mais bon, on peut toujours rêver !
Et vous, vous pensez que ça vaut le coup ?
Бейсбольна математика в НБА?
Якби Лейкери дійсно могли купити всіх кандидатів на MVP за бейсбольними правилами, то Шаі Гілджеус-Александер грав би за них аж до 2080 року! Але на жаль (чи на щастя?), НБА — не MLB.
Десь ЛеБрон обережно витирає піт.
Моя модель дає цьому сценарію 0.0007% ймовірності — приблизно як шанс побачити, як Зеленський грає в НБА.
Що думаєте? Хтось вірить у мільярдні мрії Лейкерс? 😂
Bayar Sekarang, Main Nanti - Tahun 2080!
Kalau aturan gaji MLB dipakai di NBA, Lakers bisa beli 5 kandidat MVP sekaligus… dengan catatan bayarnya ditunda sampai cucu LeBron pensiun!
Matematika Gila:
\(970 juta ditunda 56 tahun = nilai sekarang cuma \)148 juta. Itu seperti beli nasi padang pakai voucher diskon tahun 2070!
Fakta Pahit:
- CBA bakal meledak (35% gaji untuk 5 pemain?!)
- Asuransi kabur: “Kami tidak mau tanggung risiko sampai era manusia ke Mars!”
Bonus: Peluangnya 0.0007% - sama seperti saya jadi finalis Indonesian Idol. Setuju kan? 😂
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