Chuma Okongwu’s summer training isn’t basketball—it’s a live Bayesian simulation where coaches protect his shot like it’s sacred scripture. Every pivot? Predictable. Every closeout? Algorithmic. He didn’t need talent—he needed exposure to spreadsheets and existential dread. The real magic? When the defense stops chasing him… he still collapses under pressure. Why? Because nobody trusts stats more than vibes.

So… who else is running this ritual? (Comment below if you’ve ever cried during practice.)