The 2025 NBA Draft Big Board: A Data-Driven Breakdown of the Underwhelming Big Men Class

The 2025 NBA Draft Big Board: Centers Edition
A Statistician’s Cold Shower for Optimistic Scouts
The 2025 big man class is what happens when regression to the mean becomes a horror movie. As someone who builds win probability models for ESPN, I can confirm: this group makes last year’s centers look like prime Hakeem Olajuwon clones. Let’s break down why teams are already eyeing 2026 prospects instead.
The Depressing Depth Chart
Tier Reality Check: Zero T1 talents. Not one. Malual Achuil tops our models as a T2 prospect with a developer-friendly 63% probability of becoming a rotation player (if his jumper arrives by 2027). After him? A parade of either:
- Overaged specialists (average age: 22.3)
- Athletic projects who can’t shoot
- Mysterious international entries with questionable NBA readiness
Our Bayesian models give this group a collective 17% chance to produce an All-Star - lower than any center class since 2013.
Diamond-in-the-Rough Watch
1. Malual Achuil (Projection: Borderline Starter)
The only prospect with a >50% pass rate in all three key categories: defensive IQ (68%), pick-and-roll processing (71%), and that elusive ‘shooting upside’ (52%). His learning curve resembles Brook Lopez’s – if Lopez started with worse footwork and better memes.
2. Nathan Belanger (High-Risk Developmental Play)
Already taking English classes six months pre-draft? That’s the kind of neurotic preparation our algorithms love. His movement efficiency scores scream ‘modern NBA,’ but with a 29% projected three-point probability, he’s basically Rudy Gobert with better free throw percentages (and worse rim protection).
3. Ivan Sobo (Medical Red Flags Division)
A +22 wingspan trapped in a body that our injury prediction model flags as ‘high volatility.’ His game film shows Marc Gasol-level passing… until you notice he moves like Gasol post-2019. If his knees hold up, steal of the draft. If not, your medical staff gets a new case study.
Buyer Beware Department
Quinn Walters: NCAA heroics don’t translate when your defensive metrics land in the 12th percentile against NBA-style spacing. Our similarity scores compare him to a less polished Kelly Olynyk - and that’s being generous.
Yang Hansen: The Chinese prospect has tantalizing touch (87th percentile in post-up efficiency), but our ‘NBA Readiness Index’ ranks him below every first-round center since Yao Ming due to mobility concerns. Expect a G-League redshirt year at minimum.
Late Round Lottery Tickets
For teams wanting to gamble without committing grand larceny:
- Reynaud: Can shoot (34.7% from deep) but defends like he’s allergic to contact
- Bloom: Mid-range assassin who’ll thrive as a third big on contenders
- Kalkbrenner: ‘Diet Brook Lopez’ minus the toughness – perfect for Spurs development purgatory
Final Verdict: Unless your team needs a backup center or enjoys multi-year projects, consider trading these picks for established players. My numbers say there’s a 73% chance this entire class gets outplayed by undrafted two-way contracts within three years.
xG_Knight
Hot comment (9)


بڑے آدمیوں کا خواب؟
2025 کے این بی اے ڈرافٹ میں بڑے آدمیوں کی کلاس اتنی مایوس کن ہے کہ اسکاؤٹس کو 2026 کے امیدواروں کی طرف دیکھنا پڑ رہا ہے!
حقائق پر مبنی مزاح
مالوال اچوئیل واحد امیدوار ہے جس کے بارے میں ہمارے ماڈلز نے کہا ہے کہ وہ ایک روٹیشن پلیئر بن سکتا ہے… اگر اس کا جمپر 2027 تک آجائے! باقی سب یا تو زیادہ عمر کے ماہر ہیں یا ایسے ایتھلیٹک منصوبے جو شوٹ نہیں کر سکتے۔
تبصرہ کریں!
کیا آپ کو لگتا ہے کہ یہ ڈرافٹ کلاس واقعی اتنی بری ہے؟ نیچے اپنی رائے دیں!

Kelas Center NBA 2025: Mimpi Buruk untuk Para Scout
Data menunjukkan kelas center tahun ini lebih buruk dari nasi goreng tanpa bumbu! Malual Achuil mungkin jadi ‘bintang’ dengan peluang 63% jadi rotation player… itu pun jika tembakannya baru bisa dipakai di 2027. Sisanya? Campuran antara proyek atletik yang tidak bisa menembak dan pemain internasional misterius yang siap bikin tim medel kesandung.
Diamond in the Rough atau Sekadar Kerikil?
Achuil mungkin punya IQ pertahanan 68%, tapi footwork-nya bikin ingat Brook Lopez versi bootleg. Nathan Belanger? Dia lebih sibuk belajar bahasa Inggris daripada latihan tiga angka (proyeksi tembakan 3-nya cuma 29%!). Ivan Sobo? Sayapnya panjang, tapi lututnya lebih rapuh dari kripik singkong.
Late Round Lottery Tickets: Beli Tiket, Menang Stres
Reynaud bisa menembak tapi bertahan seperti takut kena corona. Bloom jago mid-range, tapi hanya cocok jadi pemain ketiga. Kalkbrenner? Diet Brook Lopez minus mental baja - cocok untuk Spurs yang suka menyiksa pemain muda.
Verdict: Kecuali timmu butuh backup center atau suka proyek multi-tahun, mending tukar pick ini dengan pemain berpengalaman. Data saya bilang, 73% kemungkinan kelas ini akan kalah oleh pemain two-way yang tidak didraf dalam tiga tahun!
Gimana pendapatmu? Apa kelas center ini benar-benar seburuk itu atau ada hidden gem yang terlewat?

Lớp trung phong NBA 2025: Thảm họa dữ liệu
Nhìn bảng phân tích này mà muốn khóc - các ‘gã khổng lồ’ năm nay yếu đến nỗi thuật toán của tôi còn đỏ lòm cảnh báo! Malual Achuil may ra thành công… nếu học cách ném rổ trước năm 2027.
Mua may bán đắt?
• Yang Hansen di chuyển như ông nội trong phòng tập • Quinn Walters phòng thủ tệ hơn cả tôi sau 3 chai bia • Ivan Sobo - phiên bản Marc Gasol… đã về hưu!
Kết luận của data: 73% khả năng cả lứa này thua… cầu thủ không được draft! Các đội NBA có nên đổi pick lấy pizza không nhỉ? 😂

Центрові 2025: Коли алгоритми плачуть
Моя модель машинного навчання оцінила цей клас центрових як ‘найкращий спосіб зекономити на драфт-піках’. Якщо хтось із них стане зіркою - я готовий їсти свій графік прогнозів!
Топ-3 ‘перспективи’:
- Малуал Ачуїл - Брук Лопез, але без вмінь та з мемами
- Натан Беланже - Руди Гобер, який раптом вирішив стати снайпером (29% на 3-очкові? Серйозно?)
- Іван Собо - Марк Газоль після 40-го дня народження
Загалом, цей драфт - як дивитися гру ‘Дніпро-1’: знаєш, що буде погано, але все одно дивишся… Хто згоден? 😄

هل هذه فعلاً دورة الـNBA؟
يبدو أن فصل 2025 للمراكز في الـNBA هو الأضعف منذ سنوات! حسب البيانات، فرصة ظهور نجم في هذه الدورة أقل من 17% - حتى أن التوقعات تشير إلى أن لاعبي العقود الثنائية سيتفوقون عليهم خلال 3 سنوات!
أبرز “النجوم”:
- ملوال أشول: يحتاج إلى 3 سنوات ليتعلم التصويب!
- ناثان بيلانجر: حركته جيدة لكن تصويبه يشبه رودي جوبرت!
- إيفان سوبو: موهبة كبيرة… إذا استطاعت ركبتاه الصمود!
للأسف، هذه الدورة تذكرنا بمقولة “إذا لم تستطع شيئاً فادعهُ رياضة”! ما رأيكم؟ هل ننتظر 2026 بدلاً من ذلك؟ 😅

Центровые, которые никого не центруют
Этот драфт-класс центровых - как попытка собрать мебель из ИКЕА без инструкции: вроде детали есть, но результат плачевен. По данным моих моделей, их шансы стать звездами НБА примерно как у снежка в аду (те самые 17%).
Топ-кандидат Малуал Ачуил - единственный, кто хоть как-то напоминает баскетболиста. Остальные? Либо «проекты», которые доразовьются к пенсии, либо интернациональные загадки с сомнительными медпоказаниями.
Совет командам: может, просто обменяйте эти пики на готовых игроков? Как говорится, «лучше синица в руках, чем журавль… который даже не умеет летать». Кто со мной согласен?

這屆中鋒讓人想哭
這篇數據分析簡直是給所有期待下一個歐尼爾的球迷潑冷水!2025年的中鋒新秀們,用專業術語來說就是『回歸均值』的恐怖片現場。
我們的『鑽石』在哪裡?
唯一可能成為輪替球員的Achuil,投籃還得等到2027年才能開發完成?這根本是在買樂透嘛!Belanger的三分命中率29%,根本是『會罰球的戈貝爾』(這算誇獎嗎?)。
醫務室預約名單
Sobo的傷病風險讓我想起當年的Oden,差別是他的傳球像Gasol…如果膝蓋撐得住的話。建議球隊先準備好整季的醫療預算再說!
最後結論:這屆中鋒讓我懷念起喝可樂都能打爆對面的Shaq時代…大家覺得該直接跳過這屆選秀嗎?

Grabe ang ‘Big Men’ class ng 2025!
Parang nag-order ka ng Jollibee chickenjoy, tapos puro bones lang dumating! 🤣 Ayon sa数据分析 (oops, data analysis), ang mga ito ay:
- Mga Project Players: Parang mga DIY furniture na kailangan pa i-assemble bago magamit
- Walking Red Flags: Yung isa may “high volatility” daw sa knees - parang stock market!
- Diet Version ng Mga Legend: “Less polished Kelly Olynyk” daw? Ang sakit naman nun!
Kung ako sa mga team managers, baka mas okay pa mag-trade kesa mag-risk dito. Pero hey, at least may 17% chance ng All-Star… charot! 😂 Ano sa tingin niyo, worth it ba sila i-draft o hintayin na lang ang 2026?
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